Breeze
by Serene
Summary: Sirius thinks about the Potters, and how much they meant to him, and still mean to him in their death. What I consider my best work, although that may not be saying much...:) PLEASE review, I thrive on them!!


A/N: Wow, I start this story with a slightly inflated ego, as all of your reviews for my story 'To Be Free', were…rather nice

Disclaimer: Theirs.

A/N: Wow, I start this story with a slightly inflated ego, as all of your reviews for my story 'To Be Free', were…rather nice!!! Well, I love you guys, and thank you SO much for being so wonderful to plain old me. Every one of your reviews made me dance around the room squealing at least once! This story just came out somehow…I don't quite know where it came from, and it's a little dark in the beginning, but just read it and I promise you'll finish it smiling J And, once again PLEEEASE review, because if you guys keep reviewing me like you have been, oh boy will I be coming up with stories fast!!! I'm thinking of doing an 'Epic', kinda REALLY long adventure ficcy thing, so if any of you are interested in beta-ing and generally chatting about ideas, or anything like that, my e-mail is on my profile, so please mail me if you have any thoughts or anything like that. Now enough of my babbling, and I hope you like the story.

**Breeze**

Darkness surrounded him like a shroud, as it always did on his visits to this place. This place where he came to mourn people and maybe even part of himself, that he'd never find again. Because when he lost James and Lily, at the same time, he lost his childhood innocence. And innocence is a hard thing to find once you've lost it. 

He knelt down in reflection, trying not to think of times past… although it was always so tempting to wallow in memories, to live in them, and to never return to the harsh, cold world of broken dreams that was his life. But he still had some things, he reminded himself in stern tones. Remus…Harry…who was becoming more and more like James every day although Lily's eyes…Lily's eyes had never failed to amaze him. How could simple parts of the anatomy reflect so much? Innocence, wit, radiance, hope. Never, in all her life, had they reflected tortured anguish, as he was sure his eyes must do now, while he was in this haven of memories of them and what he had lost, never to regain. James' eyes had often carried the same as Lily's, he still remembered James laughing at his ridiculous antics; _'What would I ever do without you to prove to me that, no matter how much of an idiot I am, there is always someone worse off than me?'_ James always laughed, at himself, at everyone around him, at the world. Until someone extinguished that fire in Prongs and in himself. 

Prongs and him always were brothers in more than a sense of blood-they were best friends, but it was more than that. What James felt, he felt too, and he knew it was that way with James. Whenever one was miserable, he could try to hide it from the other…but somehow it never worked, no matter what sort of façade they put up to the rest of the world. They shared everything, even girlfriends on numerous occasions, he recalled with a smirk. But when James had met Lily…he had known, just as James had, that Lily was the one who could light up James' life in a different way to any friend; she could light up his world with that hair of flame, and James could be completely submerged in those pools of emerald that were her eyes. Whenever he was around them, he felt perfectly content to be a spectator to the small paradise of warmth and comfort that reminded him of a crackling fire on a snowy winter day, or a beautiful picture that restored your faith in life on a day when all felt lost. And he was never usually content to be a spectator; him who always had to be the centre of everyone's attention, who fed off it and relished every appreciative smile that was thrown his way like a dog treasures its favourite bone. But this bond between James and Lily was special, and he was no fool, he had to let the tide of warmth and love wash over him, because once you had come so close to feeling that depth of emotion, you are starved without it. **_And now you are without it_**, a bleak voice echoed in his head. _No, never without it._ _Never…as long as I can remember it, I am still there…_He fought the voice with all the might he possessed. **_Really? Do you honestly believe that? _**The voice taunted him mockingly. But a stronger voice fought back now. _No. They are still with me, they live on, they always will. In the place deep within me that is reserved especially for them, they are always, always there. No matter what anyone else tries to tell me, not even my own self-pity or doubt. Because love always lives on, in the people who love them. _He shook his head, trying to clear it of the voices. It was enough reminiscing for one day.

'Tired?' A voice echoed out of the darkness.

'God, yes.' He replied aloud, knowing this voice was a friend, not a foe. 'So tired.'

'Poor thing. It always brings back so much, coming here, but I do it every day.' Remus came and sat next to him, watching the sunrise over the hill ahead of where they were sitting.

'How on earth do you bring yourself to, Moony?' He asked with a tremor in his voice.

'I need to. To remember. What I was like, what they were like…what we all were like…what unadulterated joy was like.' Remus' voice also shook on the last few words. 'You remember what it was like…' Remus trailed off, unable to continue, helpless against the sudden assault of emotions that he hadn't felt in such a long time.

'Yeah.' There was nothing else that needed to be said. He knew I felt it, I knew I felt it. But from darkness, came light. Harry was living proof of that. Except James and Lily weren't darkness, their deaths were darkness. So…maybe all along…all they were seeing was light…it was so confusing for him to process. Maybe all they had was a little spell of darkness, because they were still there on earth, just a little removed, but they were with us. I knew it, believed it with every part of my weakened, but somehow still strong soul. Sometimes, when I thought all was lost, I heard Lily's laugh like sleigh-bells on the wind, and her light touch would caress me, giving me much-needed warmth. Then I would sometimes feel James' presence in the air, so tangible I felt like I could reach out and grab it, and hold it like a security blanket, or a Patronus against the Dementors not just in Azkaban, but in my own hell. I could hear his voice; _'Come on Padfoot. We need you here, on Earth, to take care of Harry…and to create for him what we've created here in this new place of ours.' _And I was reminded that I was still here, living, and that I had to make something of my life, just as James would have wanted. I couldn't let our fire be eternally extinguished, I needed to carry on…carry on and make this world warm again through my own love.

So Remus and I sat, silently watching the sun rise high, over the hills and into the sky. And Lily's laugh echoed on the warm breeze.


End file.
